Husband’s Duty to the Wife Ephesians 5:25-33

September 8, 2018


Sermon: Husband’s Duty to the Wife Ephesians 5:25-33
What is the husband’s duty to the wife. Shocking revelation compared to today’s standards.
One Way Christian Center is a Reformed Baptist Church, located at 605 E. 6th Street in Olustee, OK close to Altus, OK and Altus AFB.



Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV  page 979  
    • We see Christ as a husband and the church as a wife
        • Last week, wives submit unto your husband as the church submits unto Christ
            • There is more to the wives role and we will see some of this today
        • This week, husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church
    • Submission to authority can be very difficult,
        • There is MUCH more to the relationship than you might think
            • How can you expound on Christ’s love for the church in 45 min?
        • There is PROFOUND theology, mingled with application
    • Husbands tend to be concerned with the wives submission
    • Wives tend to be concerned with the husbands loving like Christ
        • If you would only submit, If you would only love like Christ
            • Where does the responsibility lie?
            • The responsibility lies with the husband and not the wife
    • With authority comes the responsibility for the relationship?
        • We are in a position of leadership, man is the head (23)
        • The entire relationship hinges on you being a leader
        • Those in authority are held accountable for things in their care
            • Parable of the talents
            • Church leadership, pastors, teachers
            • Your wife and your family
    • So you are the boss and you lay down the law???
        • You demand submission or face my wrath?
            • Is that how Christ loves his sheep?
                • No, that’s judgement day for the outsider
        • God’s law and you PICTURE
        • Our mediator and you PICTURE
1 Timothy 2:5 ESV  
The Christlike Husband, William Gouge (1575-1653)
    • Chairman of the Westminster Confession
    • Original Book “Of Husbands’ Particular Duties”
    • Modernized by Scott Brown and Joel Beeke
The book is a systematic look at what scripture tells us about the husbands’ duties
    • Husbands are not to be tyrants over their wives
1 Peter 3:7 ESV  
    • We are to honor our wives
    • Hold them in high esteem
    • To be patient and understanding – Understand women???
(26)  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  (27)  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
    • We are saved and brought nigh by the WORK of Christ
        • The WORK in the relationship rests upon the husband
    • Sanctify –in this context means to set apart
        • Your wife is set apart from all other relationships
            • Before everything, children, family, friends, work, sports…
(31)  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife
            • The bond between Christ and his church cannot be broken
            • The bond between husband and wife, MUST not be broken
    • How about your wife’s role – Is all she to do is to submit to your wishes?
        • Obey your every command, God gave you a helper not a slave
Proverbs 31:10-28 ESV  
    • This is an excellent wife
        • She can be trusted with goods, she is over the children and others in the home, she can be over the finances, she can earn money, she can buy and sell property and make decisions, she can give to the poor, she decorates and furnishes the home, she raises the children and so on…
    • We are to trust her with the things under her control
        • She is above everything in our house
    • Your wife is your chief helper
        • All you have is hers, together you are one flesh
    • You have authority over all, she has authority over everything in your home
        • We are to respect, uphold and nurture her authority
        • Our authority MUST NOT undermine her authority
    • What if you wife wants to give to the needy?
        • Will your heard heart stop her hand?
            • Do you love money more than you love your wife?
    • How often do we automatically oppose our spouse?
        • Why because it is not your idea?
    • Question: Is what my wives request breaking God’s law?
        • If not, we should support it
        • If yes, we are to lovingly turn it aside
    • Sarah had control over the things under Abraham
        • God permitted and upheld Sarah’s request to Abraham – painful
Genesis 21:10-12 ESV  
    • Your wife should know, the only time you will oppose her is if her request is breaking God’s law.
        • Even if it pains you
            • If you honor your wives requests she will be more inclined to submit to your authority
Proverbs 31: (23)  
You are either esteemed or mocked because of your wife
        • If you have a good reputation, you owe your wife
        • If you have a bad reputation, you owe it to yourself
    • It is in your best interest to nurture your relationship with your wife
(28)  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  (29)  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
    • Sermon: “You have to learn to love yourself before you can love” ???
        • Loving yourself is natural to man
    • Your wife is part of your body…
        • When your wife is honored you are honored
Proverbs 31: (28)  
    • Did you rise up and call your wife blessed today?
    • Have you praised your wife today?
        • We wake up in the morning and say:
            • My body is hungry, I shall feed it
            • My body is thirsty, I shall quench my thirst
            • My body is sick and hurting, I shall give it rest today
                • Do we ask these questions about our wife?
                • Do we expect our wife to do and do 7 days a week?
                    • Where is the rest for our wife?
                    • Is she your slave or your wife?
        • We are to recognize when our wife needs our help and support
    • Objection:  An excellent wife who can find?
        • My wife is not worthy of my praise???
            • When is the Church worthy of Christ?
            • What has the church done to earn Christ?
            • What have you done to deserve the cross?
                • How dare you say your wife is not worthy
            • Has your wife sinned more against you than you against Christ?
Matthew 6:12-15 ESV  
    • Your UNWORTHY wife is EXACTLY who you are called to love
        • He loved us first – you love your wife first
        • He loved us when we were yet sinners – you love your wife
        • Is your love conditional do you say, What’s in it for me, you say?
            • How did Christ benefit from his love?
                • Did the church add something that he needed?
    • My wife is constantly opposing me?
        • Do you support your wife in ALL lawful things under her care???
            • The shepherd tends the flock
            • The flock doesn’t tend the shepherd
            • It’s your job to go to her as Christ finds his sheep
                • As God sought for Adam and Eve
    • Guard against hatred, a hard heart, and self-pride
        • I am the head and what I say goes!  You WILL listen to me!
            • Is this how Christ loves us?
            • No, this is the law which saves no one – shows our flaws
            • Love covers a multitude of sin
        • Our love is generated by seeing our shame through Christ’s sacrifice
            • If you want your wife to truly love you, show her sacrifice
            • If you want a division between you and her, show her law
    • You might say, my wife is wicked and immoral?
        • Was she wicked and immoral when you married her?
First, it may be she was good enough when first she was brought to you, but you by your evil example or negligent leadership or harshness you have made her as bad as she is. If it be so, then she is to be considered not as you have marred her, but as you married her.  The Christlike Husband, William Gouge (1575-1653)
    • Maybe she is a thorn in your side to keep you from your self-pride?
        • To drive you closer to the Lord?
[God could be] testing your wisdom and patience; and she may be as a school of virtue to you. As a skillful pilot’s competency is tested and known by stormy seas, so a man’s wisdom by a troublesome wife.
    • Regardless of who she is, or how moral or immoral, she is your wife
        • Would Christ forsake His church?
        • You should not forsake your wife
    • We provide for our wife – Biblical principal
    • If you are ABLE, you MUST provide for your wife NOW and after you are gone
        • David crowned Solomon king for Bathsheba before he died
        • From the cross Jesus had John care for his mother
        • Jesus sent his Holy Spirit to care for the church
        • If a widow was left uncared for, she is in the care of the church
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV  
    • How much more if you don’t provide for your wife?
    • Christ is rich and we share in his inheritance
        • He also gives us gifts –
        • What can we give him but the thanks and glory he deserves
        • Are you giving to your wife expecting something in return?
            • Is that the only time you are nice?
            • Is that how Christ loves us?
    • Husbands also provide for the spiritual and emotional needs
    • (26)  having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word
        • We need to provide a household centered on the Word of God
            • Uphold the truth of God in your house
                • Do you want to be respected by your wife?
                    • Be the man God called you to be.
    • A man’s wife is now his partner
    • Nothing shall separate us from the love of Christ
        • Our wives should be able to say the same
        • When Isaac’s mother died he was comforted by Rebekah
Ephesians 5:33 ESV  
    • The world is filled with lawlessness and chaos, broken marriages, mixed families and hatred for one another.
        • Let this not be in our Christian homes
    • We say we have Christ but can we tell the difference between the church and the world?
        • A Christian husband is a witness for Christ loving the Church
        • A Christian wife is a witness for the Church submitting unto Christ
    • As Christ loved the church is a VAST subject
        • Your duties are also VAST and should mirror Christ’s.
        • Consider doing further study on this subject
        • You will be held accountable for the things in your care
            • Success or failure is on the husband and not the wife
            • You can do nothing good or pleasing to God apart from Christ
            • Love Christ and you will love your wife
                • Ask for the ability to do what he commands you to do
1. A Husband’s Affectionate Authority over His Wife
2. A Husband’s Humble Gentleness to His Wife
3. A Husband’s Patient Correcting of His Wife [rare and meek]
4. A Husband’s Kind Conduct  toward His Wife
5. A Husband’s Provision for His Wife
6. A Husband’s Sincere and Steady Love for His Wife
Gouge, William. The Christlike Husband (Kindle Locations 6-24). Chapel Library. Kindle Edition.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.